First off, congratulations on being your true queer self! It takes a lot of bravery to be yourself in any context, and I'm proud of you! Now that you're starting to figure out what being non-binary means to you, I'm here to help you figure out what that could look like. How you wear your hair plays a huge role in your identity and self-expression. The beauty of your identity is that it is uniquely yours. There is no "right" way to look. This journey into feeling comfortable in your skin is yours and yours alone, but I can give you a few things to think about when searching for the right haircut.
1. Learn the differences between masculine vs. feminine. The world of hair has been inherently gendered for decades. Myself and like-minded others are doing our best to break down those barriers, but there's much work to be done and a long line of history. However! The gendered descriptive terms that have been developed along the way such as "masculine" and "feminine" can be super useful when figuring out your style! Descriptors are not labels, so don't be afraid of these terms and ideas!
Some examples of "masculine" hair lingo: fade, taper, squared-off sideburns, line-up, hard-part, buzz cut, crew cut
Traditionally "feminine" hair terms: long style, medium-length, layers, bob, bangs, fringe, face-frame, pixie cut
Most of us can picture a haircut that would have been traditionally seen on either a man or woman, although that idea is way gross and outdated- knowing the differences and what to look for can be super helpful in curating your own style!
2. Get descriptive! Of course not all terms are gendered! There are plenty of great descriptive words to use with your stylist to narrow down what you like in a haircut.
Some basic haircutting terms: Textured, shaggy, blunt, razor-cut, point-cut, one-length, thinned out, low maintenance style.
Terms that do the trick: Swoopy, sharp, feathery, wispy, fluffy, angled, straight, wavy, curly, choppy, shaggy, edgy, clean etc.
There are so many ways to describe a haircut and no wrong ways. Don't sweat it if you're unsure of the "professional" terms, just bust out those adjectives! I've been doing this for over 7 years and I still use the term "swoopy" on a daily basis. Get creative!
3. Figure out your needs! What are you looking for in a haircut? Do you require a style that allows you to present as a specific gender for family gatherings but also makes you confident day to day? A short, textured cut that is low maintenance? Something grungy and stylish like a mullet? Think about your needs. Are you going to take the time to style it? Do you present yourself as more masculine in your everyday style? Consider all of the things! Your haircut fitting into your lifestyle is key and it's important to have realistic goals. There's plenty of room for overlap as far as meeting certain needs goes, but there will be cases when you can't have your cake and eat it too. Decide what your main goals are and go from there!
4. Communication is key! Once you've figured out some basic terminology, have an open conversation with your stylist. We don't expect you to sit in the chair knowing exactly what you're looking for. Ramble off some terms that sound good whether you think they're "correct" or not, ask for advice, and speak up about your concerns! We are here to help you find your way to what works best for you. The right stylist will listen, ask questions, and be able to give recommendations.
5. Have fun with it! The awesome thing about hair...it grows back! Try new things! You'll never find your style being too afraid to try something new. The quest to find a look and identity you feel comfortable in is never-ending and ever-changing. Go short, grow it out, coast in the middle, get bangs, taper the back.. search around for that hairstyle that makes you feel like your most confident self. That could mean a more traditional masculine cut or taking a feminine approach.. and there are plenty of cool styles that can accommodate both! How have you been feeling lately? What's that haircut you've always seen around and been jealous of? Go for it! Explore your options!
Choosing a gender-affirming haircut can sometimes be intimidating, especially as someone who identifies as non-binary, but it doesn't have to be. Take some of the above notes into consideration and get excited! There is a whole world of hair out there and that "I've never felt so much like myself" haircut is waiting to be discovered by you.
-Anna Mopchopper